Night of Travesties

Well, our night of travesties was not quite like Harold & Kumar go to White Castle, but certainly had a burger-chasing flavor of its own.

Q. What do MBAs in the current gloom and doom situation do to entertain themselves?

A. They drive 23 kilometers to the airport at 2 a.m. to eat a burger under the golden arches.

The hotshot (some more shot than hot) MBA characters – Al, Ozzy, Smoothie, The “I”, and yours truly.

Ozzy: “Let’s go get a burger man.”
The rest (in various levels of inebriation): “What?”
Ozzy: “Man, seriously, let’s go.”
Smoothie: “Let’s go to the airport dude!”
Al: “Oh yeah, let’s go to the airport. I so like driving on that road.”
Most of the rest: “Ok, let’s do it!”
The I: “Man, this is just ridiculous. Ok, let’s go.”

So, we head out to the airport with Smoothie at the wheel with his right foot flooring the gas pedal, which was in response to an earlier comment about his driving resembling an octogenarian’s. The ride seemed short, with Ozzy playing the DJ, Al looking out the window at rock formations (apparently, in pitch darkness) and The I following the car’s high beam chewing on his nails. We get to the airport and park. Then we park again. Trying to get as close to the arches as possible. As we walk up to McD, our man Ronald McDonald is spotted sitting on the bench, much to The I’s chagrin. We order, pick up and sit outside to relish our burgers. The I, fortunately for us, has a clear view of Ron McD. Amidst talks of placements, or the lack of it this year, The I gets into his act.

The I: “This is ridiculous!”
The rest: “What?”
The I: “People are sitting next to Ronald McDonald and taking pictures. I can’t believe it!”
The rest: “Dude, let go. He’s a clown, people like clowns.”
The I: “But four of them on that bench, I mean, c’mon!”

We go back to placements, past careers, future plans…

The I: “Oh, for crying out loud, there’s a guy running his hand up and down Ronald’s legs.”
The rest: “Really?”
The I: “Oh please, this is just ridiculous”
Smoothie: “Is Ronald McDonald the clown’s name or the owner’s name?”
Ozzy: “The owner…well no, I think it’s the clown”
Al: “I don’t care. Why is my cup of hot chocolate half-full?”
Smoothie: “That’s why I always order things served in a transparent glass.”

Then we finish eating and head back to the parking lot…when The I spots a dude dressed in shorty shorts wearing a garland, and what appeared to be sunglasses(?). We hear his customary “This is ridiculous!” in the distance. As we keep walking, one more expression of The I’s displeasure is heard. This time it is directed at a man sprawled on the lawn doing something with his cell phone. We keep walking and reach the car…just in time to find someone parked next to us at a 45 degree angle.

The I: “You’ve got to be shitting me. What was he thinking when he parked?”

After one more round of laughs, we get in the car. With Al at the wheel trying to better Smoothie’s time, we head back to campus. The I has the final word - “This was a night of travesties!”, he sighs as he goes back to following the car’s beam and finishing up on the remainder of his nails.