Cops, courts and superstars

I hadn’t heard from the friendly folks at the district court about my speeding ticket as of this morning (yes, the one I wrote about in “Caught with the needle”). I am a regular contributor to the police fund – I average about 1.5 speeding tickets a year…I have even started budgeting this expense every year ;-) . I am quite familiar with their timelines, so I give them a call this morning to see how the fleecing was going on. I go through the usual 30 buttons a minute menu for about 3 minutes before I am treated to some very fine 104.3 FM jazz reject while on hold. I eagerly wait for an ‘agent’ to answer the phone - some flesh, blood, breathing…yes, prayer answered! Although it was an overdose of heavy, heavy breathing, good lord!!! – was she doing one-hand pushups in the sauna? Anyway, I ask her what’s going on and she tries to pull up my record.
“Your citation number?”
I give her the number.
“Last name?”
I patiently spell my 11 alphabeter – “ ______R.A.J.A.N.”
“Doesn’t quite match with what I have (heavier breathing)”
“What do you have?” I ask, navigating between her heavy breaths.
“I have ______R.A.J.N.I. “
“What????”
LOL!!! Must’ve been a telepathic cop who wrote that ticket!! Geez! I even gave him my license to copy the name over. I had half a mind to leave the name as is, but the breath with a voice was on my case “Sir, would you like me to go ahead and change it?”
“Yes”, I say, “please change it.”
Rest of the conversation is pleasant. Nice lady, nice heart…the same cannot be said about her lungs anyway.

I hung up and went to get coffee and found myself saying “Baasha oru thadavai sonnaa, nooru thadavai sonnaa maadhiri” …maybe I should do the swishing jacket thing – there you go. Now, top it off with the sunglass trick. Attaboy!!